Why do we think we are right even when we are wrong

                                          

We always believe that we were right at most times of our lives. Whenever we had to make decisions we took the right ones, did right in our relationships and always chose the right path.

It is good to believe in oneself, but thinking that we are right even when we are wrong is a blunder that we do numerous times in our life, sometimes which even costs us or someone else a bomb and we don’t even realize it, living with the fact that we were right.

So why does this happens?
Well here is the answer to it.

Our thinking is motivated by our beliefs and our actions are inspired from what we believe in.
We tend to consider a piece of information, a thought, a belief, a situation or thinking, either as a friend or as an enemy.

We defend the side we consider as our friend and try to shoot down the other.

If things are the way we like, we are happy but if things turn the other way round, we are angry and frustrated and tag them as something bad or even worst.
Some simple examples are -:
Say in sports if a referee gives decision in the favor of our team we are content but if the opposition team gets the benefit of doubt we question his decision.
If Supreme Court passes a law which according to us is correct, we hail the court but if it is the other way round we curse it.

Our judgment is highly influenced by our fears, limitations and what we have seen or experienced personally. Our thought process is not broad but is restricted to our own lives.

We don’t want to get out of our comfort zone, get our ego hurt or show consent for something which can prove our thinking or belief wrong, that’s the fear we always carry in our mind and hence rather than going into the depth and understanding the situations, we just consider that right which doesn’t contradicts our judgment.

The scariest part is we think we are objective and fair minded but still tend to ruin life of an innocent person.  

So how to think rationally?

Below points might help -:

We need to cut through our biases, prejudices and beliefs and get to the real truth and meaning of a situation or thing even if it is unpleasant or inconvenient for us.

Rather than choosing a side and being headstrong about it, we should be open to test our beliefs and judgment and change our mindset if it is on the wrong side.

We need to consider the fact that we can be wrong at times and it doesn’t make us small or stupid.

And finally we should yearn to clearly see the world as possibly as we can rather than yearning for our own prejudices.

All that matters to me...

Today the world is full of advisers, experts and counselors who guide millions of people on what to do, how to do and when do to based on their experience and learning. 
Now think how many of these millions go on to become a CEO or world leader, unfortunately none.
The reason is simple, until you have not felt the complexity of a problem you can’t come up with an optimum solution. A solution that worked for me might not work for you. 

A person who takes his own decisions and shapes one’s own path is likely to be more successful than a person who follows others footsteps.

Biker group, those bullets passing by, their sound and the people in leather jackets are a delight to watch, but until you are not one of them riding your own bullet, you can’t experience the thrill, adventure and joy which lies inside.

Every day you watch the share market go for a roller coaster ride. One day it falls sharply and the other day it shoots up like a bomb from cannon. You love to watch Patel bhai and Jain sahab jump in air when there is a bull run. But the real excitement and joy lies in watching your own bucks getting doubled and feeling the pain of losing it when the bears take control.

Talking about myself

When I was in school preparing for IIT, those complex probability questions used to screw my mind.
I always jumped to the solution first and then tried to understand the question. Though I was able to solve 25 questions in a day but did it really help me understand and conquer probability, not at all.
 The reason was simple, I had never tried to ponder on the question and solve it on my own before going to the solution.

When I was in college there were assignments given by professors. A small chunk of students used to do it by them and rest of us just copied it. At that time I couldn't understand the difference it would make, but at the last day of the college it was pretty clear.

Only 10% of the doers got into India MNC, rest all had wings to fly high.

But if we talk about the copy paste experts,  only 10% of us could make it to the higher league, while rest of us were just a part of the huge huge crowd.

I got placed in an Indian MNC, but my attitude remained the same.
If there is an issue, ask the seniors first, take the ready made solution from them, copy paste and mail it. There were people who tried to dig deep to find the best solution, even if they had to stay in office for 12 hours. I just mocked at their pathetic life.

As days passed I started liking a girl in my office. In college days I had 2 flings, so I was sure of knowing all the tricks in the book. But this girl gave me a rough time. Her audacious replies and a straight forward no tore my heart apart. Seeing myself fail I asked people to provide me some tips and tricks to impress her but none worked. Now I could experience the pain, the pain I have given to those gals whom I dumped in college. 

The girl of my dreams got selected in IIM, shattering mines to build her own.
Before leaving she said only one thing, for loving someone first you need to experience love by yourself.

My girl was gone. The people whom I mocked got onsite opportunities because of their innovative solutions and business understandings. My friends got into top B schools. I was the only one left behind doing nothing. This was the first time when I become serious in my life.


From that day I made a promise to leave behind copy paste technique and start to experience things by myself.
God also help those who help themselves and not those who are dependent on other’s help.
If people do things the same way others did it, there will be no scope for inventions, innovations and out of box thinking.
My father once told me that I don’t value money because I haven’t burned my sweat and blood to earn it. The day I will experience the sentiments associated, I will start valuing it and man it’s so damn true.

Today I have set my goals
1. I will experience how it feels to be in true love with someone.
2. I will give my 100% dedication, focus and determination needed to get into one of the top B schools of India, Indian School of Business.
3. I will set my own standards and continuously improve them based on my own experiences and learning.

Now all that matter to me is at the age of 40 when my children start taking decisions and understand things I can show them my Organization and tell them proudly that this is outcome of my own experiences.
At the age of 60 when I am with my grandchildren I can proudly show them my book on “Live life on your own experiences” and explain them the importance of it.
And finally when I die, I will be a proud human being who has made his own choices, took his own decisions, set his own path and achieved something on his own.

This post is written as a part of  All That Matters Contest at BlogAdda.com in association with
INK Talks 2013