Should we expect support in today's world

In today’s world when people talk about being independent and self-reliant, should we expect from our near and dear ones to support us during our bad times or during the struggling phase of life changing decisions.

No doubt being self-reliant is very important, furthermore self-actualization is needed for personal growth also it helps us function better in the society but life is so unpredictable that we have no surety of what will happen tomorrow. In such situations or decisions if things go wrong we would expect some support from our closed ones, especially on the emotional end.

Here are some examples -:

I had a friend whose best friend’s parents passed away in an accident.
She was broken like hell and needed support in every possible way.
What my friend did was the best support he could provide her, he married her. Today both are living a great life.

Another example is of a close friend who unfortunately had to suffer from a year drop because of an allegation put on her which she was not at all connected to. The examiner did ask her to write the paper again after 2 hours of exam time but she took the decision to not write it again but take the matter to the higher level.
Though things didn’t go as she expected and the allegations were made more severe which caused her to bear a year drop.
She was utterly depressed and upset. She took the decision what she felt was right at that time but things didn’t go as she thought.
At that point of time her near and dears ones, especially her bf and parents were quite supportive and helped her to come out of this terrible situation.

The Last example I will quote is of yet another very good friend of mines.
It was the end of 2014 and his mother was not keeping well. In spite of several medications, she showed negligible improvement. At that time he was quite tensed and worried about her health and needed someone to pour down his emotions. One of his best friends came as a savior. She not only took care of him but also his mother. Eventually,his mother showed signs of improvement. He proposed his friend for marriage as he knew that he could count upon her during the bad phases of his life.

Most importantly there was a feeling of security with her.

All these examples show that your near and dear ones who can be your partner or best buddies do support you during the bad phases of life but there are other examples too which prove them utterly wrong.

People have left their loved ones as per their convenience with the reasoning that as the decision was of the concerned person so eventually the problems are also his/her own and hence he/she has to suffer it alone.

The bottom-line is, though people have grown a bit more selfish and self-centered but still,  there are many generous souls in this world.
Yes,the need of the hour is to be more self-reliant and self-dependent but when the platter of life serves terribly bad times, it is good to have it together with a bunch of trustworthy souls than alone.

Why do we think we are right even when we are wrong

                                          

We always believe that we were right at most times of our lives. Whenever we had to make decisions we took the right ones, did right in our relationships and always chose the right path.

It is good to believe in oneself, but thinking that we are right even when we are wrong is a blunder that we do numerous times in our life, sometimes which even costs us or someone else a bomb and we don’t even realize it, living with the fact that we were right.

So why does this happens?
Well here is the answer to it.

Our thinking is motivated by our beliefs and our actions are inspired from what we believe in.
We tend to consider a piece of information, a thought, a belief, a situation or thinking, either as a friend or as an enemy.

We defend the side we consider as our friend and try to shoot down the other.

If things are the way we like, we are happy but if things turn the other way round, we are angry and frustrated and tag them as something bad or even worst.
Some simple examples are -:
Say in sports if a referee gives decision in the favor of our team we are content but if the opposition team gets the benefit of doubt we question his decision.
If Supreme Court passes a law which according to us is correct, we hail the court but if it is the other way round we curse it.

Our judgment is highly influenced by our fears, limitations and what we have seen or experienced personally. Our thought process is not broad but is restricted to our own lives.

We don’t want to get out of our comfort zone, get our ego hurt or show consent for something which can prove our thinking or belief wrong, that’s the fear we always carry in our mind and hence rather than going into the depth and understanding the situations, we just consider that right which doesn’t contradicts our judgment.

The scariest part is we think we are objective and fair minded but still tend to ruin life of an innocent person.  

So how to think rationally?

Below points might help -:

We need to cut through our biases, prejudices and beliefs and get to the real truth and meaning of a situation or thing even if it is unpleasant or inconvenient for us.

Rather than choosing a side and being headstrong about it, we should be open to test our beliefs and judgment and change our mindset if it is on the wrong side.

We need to consider the fact that we can be wrong at times and it doesn’t make us small or stupid.

And finally we should yearn to clearly see the world as possibly as we can rather than yearning for our own prejudices.