Fortunately 15th August was on Wednesday,so I took 2 days vacations before that and went home after a long time.
It was Friday and I was waiting at Borivali station(Mumbai) for Avantika express, one of the very few trains to Indore.
Train was right on time. My Seat no was 29 in S6 compartment. There were 3 guys and 2 gals , all looking young,in their 20's.
As the journey started we had a brief introduction and I was surprised and the same time excited to find a pool of artists around me.
Among the 2 gals one was a painter and other a poet
Boys had a variety too with one a school teacher from village.
Other was a software developer from TCS and last one was a Cartoonist.
I took out my mobile and started browsing net. When I opened Indiblogger site, a new contest was flashing on the home page. Love Marriage VS Arrange Marriage.
A very interesting and common topic indeed. My grey cells starting working and I came up with an idea. Lets have a contest guys. I have a topic, a very common one, which is Love Marriage VS Arrange Marriage. You have to express your opinion on it in ur own artistic way. I have a surprise gift for the person who comes out to be the most creative and artistic in his approach.
After 1 hour everyone was ready and it was time to start.
Girls insisted to start first so I decided to go with the younger of the two, the Poet.
She was a die hard supporter of Love Marriages and always dreamed of one.
Her poem strongly supported her take on the topic
Love marriage is the way,
To enjoy the the life all way long..
It gives the music,
to our life's boring song..
It gives color to life's painting..
And if you are lucky to have love marriage,
life will definitely have happy ending..
The pair know each other well,
before they are going to be husband and wife..
It gives bonding,it gives affection,
and gives understanding,throughout their life..
Whenever we will be besiege by problems of life..
Only the true love will be our saver..
So if u find true love in someone's eyes..
Make that one as your life partner..forever..:))
The painter being an arranged marriage supporter wasted no time to give her opponent "The Poet"
a strong reply with her creations.
She portrayed 2 scenarios
1. Before Love Marriage only Love
2. After Love Marriage where is Love
Scenario 1
Before Love Marriage
After Love Marriage
Scenario 2
Before Love Marriage
After Love Marriage
Scenario 3
Before Love Marriage
After Love Marriage
Mickey to Minnie- Where is my tea it's already 7..
So from her pictures it was clear that in love marriages there were 2 scenarios BEFORE and AFTER. Before one shows that couples are really happy but problem comes when they are married i.e. the AFTER part. In after part you are always compared to the person you were before marriage in-spite of the fact that now you not only have new responsibilities but you also need to give equal time to your family.You are burdened with all those expectations which your partner had from you before marriage without considering the fact that now priorities are been changed.
Seeing the pics poet got angry and started arguing with the painter. Atmosphere got heated up quickly and everyone could feel it.
Feeling a chance of a cat fight, I quickly intervened and asked the opposite sex to keep up with
their views..
As Cartoonist was the most enthusiastic of the lot, I asked him to lead the boy's front with his humorous cartoons..
His cartoons depicted that neither he was standing in favour of Love Marriages nor Arrange Marriages.
According to him Marriage was a three ring circus..engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.Even there are lot of problems between the girl and her in-laws.
Single is the best status anyone can have on Facebook, he declared...:P
Seeing the talks getting a bit on the heavier side, with eyebrows raising and fists been clenched, Software developer came up with his witty Technical Description of both the marriages to stop the bickering ,drive away the clouds of animosity and make the atmosphere a bit lighter..
| Love Marriage | Arranged Marriage |
| 1. Resembles procedural programming. | 1. It resembles object oriented |
| We have some set of functions like | programming. |
| Flirting, going to movies together and | We first fix the candidate and |
| making long conversations on phone and | than try to implement functions |
| we try to fit all functions on candidate | on her. |
| we like. | Functions are added to supplement |
| the main program | |
| 2. Family system hangs as the hardware (parents)is | 2. Compatible with hardware(parents) |
| not supportive | |
| 3. You are the project leader and hence responsbile | 3. You are just a team member under |
| for the successful execution of the project. | project leader(parents) so they are responsible |
| Married Life. | for successful execution of project.Married Life. |
| 4. Client(Boy Parents) expectations includes spouse | 4. All this requirements are mentioned in the SRS |
| cooking food, washing clothes etc | itself |
| All this requirements are mentioned in the SRS | |
| 5. Love marriage is like windows, beautiful and seductive | 5. Arrange Marriage is like UNIX… |
| Yet not relaible and can crash anytime. | Boring and colorless, but is extremely reliable and |
| If crashes that’s the end. | robust.If crashes,easy to recover |
| 6. Testing is possible before implementation | 6. No testing direct implementation, cant revert |
| if bugs are found..:P | |
| 7. Antivirus(parents) is expired or uninstalled | 7. Antivirus(parents) protects the software( Wife) |
| from any virus which can affect the System(Family) |
Finally it was turn of the village school teacher, who was not considered a competition by anyone.
He raised the following points
There are cases where young couples leave their homes and flee evading villainous parents in their quest to find true love. There are cases when parents oversee their children married off to well-off families, thus assured of a comfortable and stable life.
What is marriage? An institution of love and trust or a settlement between two families?
Let find out grass is greener on which end ..
If we take the stand of Arranged Marriages following points creates the foundation for the same.
1. Looking back into human history, arranged marriages have predominated the times. Arrange marriages are the 'real marriages' unlike love marriages which is borne out of a whim or fancy. Our ancestors were wise and pious, and the experience of generations wouldn't stick to something unproductive.
2. Looking into the available statistics, we find that only a small number of arrange marriages end in divorces. As the initial fantasy period of marriage ends, the differences emerge. In love marriages, usually couples can't handle this phase in its seriousness, whereas arranged couples understand each other better.
3. Arrange marriages most often refrain from matching couples belonging to different societal status, or different caste/tribe/religion etc. The argument that the unification of two souls finds its source only in love is not a practical one. When made to return to reality, right from naming their child to the language and rituals performed at home to behavioral traits and thinking patterns, the differences accumulate which eventually ends sourly.
4. What culminates in love marriage is the bonding between two individuals to a level where they feel they shouldn't be separated from each other. An argument goes this way : "If he can fall for me, couldn't he fall for any other woman?". The seed of doubt and the sin of infidelity are so rampant in love marriages. Arranged marriages, on the other hand, has its root firmly based on reason and practicality without denying importance to mutual love.
5. Love marriages, in many cases, happen at an inoportune moment of the lives of the couples. There are cases, when couples have to run away leaving behind a good societal life. They gamble a respectful life for a life of fantasy. And when their children grow up, can they stop them from doing what they did themselves?
6. The parents have fed their children emotionally, physically and intellectually all these years. Marriage is an important decision in everyone's lives. Hence, parents should have a say in it. No parent would want their children to be in wrong hands.
Now if we consider Love marriages better than arranged Marriages following points support our opinion.
1. Marriage is an institution which demands love. No marriage is worth the effort and money if there is no love between the couple. Love is one of man's most important unheralded needs. And a life partner is one who is the source of this love for his/her entire life. Hence, love marriages is not only emotionally rewarding but also logical.
2. A conveyor belt is moving. Someone placed a stone, As it continues to move, the stone is enriched by sharpening, polishing, mixing, covering etc. and finally an end product is formed. Man's life is not a stone on a conveyor belt. You cannot "fix" or "match" two hearts unless they pull each other on their own.
3. The system of dowry is a part of this "arranged marriage ritual". There is no need to put forward the statistics of the number of women who have either been killed, molested or abused (physically and emotionally) by their in-laws for this reason. No matter how much research is put into forming the new family, there is always an artificiality to it. The plight of such women cuts a sad figure.
4. The practice of arranged marriage separates communities, helping to stop integration and encourage distrust between communities. This applies largely where it occurs among immigrant populations and helps to maintain a language barrier and an associated cultural ghettoisation.
Conclusion:
Marriage is not just a function or tradition but its more in to Understanding, Compromising, Forgiving, Respecting, Loving, Being together forever and always Be Connected.
No marriage, arranged or love, would be successful in the absence of love, trust and mutual understanding.
All the other factors are mere details in the portrait.
A soft answer, A listening ear, A forgiving & loving Heart, A mind which accepts our mistakes, An understanding Heart/Mind, will always keep the relationship alive in any situation.
Everyone was amazed to hear the points kept by the little Village School Teacher which were accurate and seemed like coming from an astute person.
Conclusion was bang on..!!!
Decision was taken by the other 4 artists, School Teacher was declared the winner.
I was finally happy so see talent was appreciated without any discrimination on lines of financial, or social status.
I had promised to give him the prize on the same day when I get mines from Indiblogger..:P
As I was a blogger so they also asked my views on it
I kept the below points-:
Marriage is a broad context but it is actually the individuals who decide the fate. It is very important for the individuals to understand the stakes involved and not behave like kids or immature people. Therefore anyone who is planning to get married. My suggestion is IT IS NOT LOVE OR ARRANGE WHICH NEEDS TO BE DECIDED. IT IS ACTUALLY ASKING THE QUESTION AM I READY FOR THIS COMMITMENT AND RESPONSIBILITY YET?and if there is any second thought then it is better to defer the plan of getting married till you are mentally ready.
This post is part of contest Love Marriage ya Arranged Marriage by Sony on Indiblogger.
